John 15:16 - My Commission
I was sitting in a parking lot at one of the Boeing buildings, waiting to go in for a meeting. It was early in the morning, and I was early for the meeting, so I sat in my truck watching the sun come up and the cool fall day start. I started praying and in my heart I was feeling incomplete. I really didn’t want to go into another pointless meeting with other people who were only going to complain about being there. I thought back to a mission trip Diana and I had the great opportunity to go on the summer before.
The trip had been short, but in those few days I felt I had done so much more that was more significant. We had brought help and hope to some people in a small village in southern Kazakhstan, we had prayed with people for the situations in their life, we worked with the medical team who helped many, we showed the Jesus film and shared our stories and the story of Jesus to whole villages. We saw it bring a genuine smile to peoples faces and joy to their hearts. The Lord seemed to keep me in Romans 10 the whole time we were there, “how beautiful the feet of those who bring good news…”, I really resonated with the passage, I felt that was what we were doing, that was me.
Now I sat in a parking lot waiting for a meeting to start reflecting on all that had gone on. I had felt for sometime that perhaps God was going to re-direct my life into ministry, but I was resolved in my heart that I was not going to ‘raise myself up’. I was not going to uproot my family, head to seminary, move towards ministry without God himself doing something to strongly indicate these were His plans and not mine.
I remembered how our pastor had come up to me after a men’s prayer meeting only a few days earlier. He and I had been good friends for many years. We had worked together to start that new church that was 7-8 years old. The prayer meeting had been a great time where 70-80 men worshiped and prayed for several hours. We sang praises of worship, sin had been confessed, men prayed for one another, it had been another good evening and now my friend and pastor made a purposeful walk up to me and out of the blue said “on a scale of 1-10 where do you think you are regarding going into ministry”. He caught me off guard, we had talked before about the ‘idea’ but never very seriously. “9-10” I said, surprising myself as the words came out. “Good” he said, and walked away.
That morning, as I sat in my truck, half thinking, half praying, I said “God, if you want me to leave Boeing and go into ministry, please confirm it to me in your word” and I opened my pocket bible to John 15, the next chapter in my reading. I loved reading the chapter again, I had read it many times before; that morning as I read:
“12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17 This is my command: Love each other.”
“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name”
I read that over and over and each time God seemed to brand in on my heart – a verse that resonated so closely with my life and at the same time called me to a future. I didn’t remember reading that verse before, I am sure I had, but that morning it was fresh and real. I am no longer one of many servants, but a friend and he was speaking directly into my heart.
“You did not choose me…” I wanted to follow Him in ministry but at the same time avoided Him, I had seen ministers who I had no desire to be like, not all certainly, like my own pastor who was a great example, but I had seen plenty of others and I didn’t want to be lumped in with them. Also, the thought of preaching scared the wits out of me, not so much the being in front of people, I had had plenty of experience that way, but to be the mouth piece of God was hugely intimidating. But all of my fears and conflicts burned away that morning, He chose me, and appointed me.
This was a great commissioning if I had ever heard it, but why hadn’t I heard it preached before? No matter, God was preaching it himself into my heart. “…go and bear fruit – fruit that will last.” I was so grateful that morning. I felt totally completed in that instant, yes this is what I was made for, a realization I would continue to live out, but ever bit as real in that moment.
It was time to go into the meeting, and I was amazed. It didn’t take long for God to speak into my heart and redirect the entire path of my life, only minutes, but God’s work is eternal, time is completely unnecessary for him to do His amazing work. There had not been a single flash in the sky, no smoke in or over my truck and yet I knew God had been with me.
I don’t remember what the meeting was about. I do remember having a conversation with an unbelieving co-worker sometime later as she shared some of her life struggle with her rebellious child and as we ended our conversation she said “have you ever considered going into ministry? I think you would be good at that.”
I just smiled and said “have a good evening, I will see you tomorrow”.
The trip had been short, but in those few days I felt I had done so much more that was more significant. We had brought help and hope to some people in a small village in southern Kazakhstan, we had prayed with people for the situations in their life, we worked with the medical team who helped many, we showed the Jesus film and shared our stories and the story of Jesus to whole villages. We saw it bring a genuine smile to peoples faces and joy to their hearts. The Lord seemed to keep me in Romans 10 the whole time we were there, “how beautiful the feet of those who bring good news…”, I really resonated with the passage, I felt that was what we were doing, that was me.
Now I sat in a parking lot waiting for a meeting to start reflecting on all that had gone on. I had felt for sometime that perhaps God was going to re-direct my life into ministry, but I was resolved in my heart that I was not going to ‘raise myself up’. I was not going to uproot my family, head to seminary, move towards ministry without God himself doing something to strongly indicate these were His plans and not mine.
I remembered how our pastor had come up to me after a men’s prayer meeting only a few days earlier. He and I had been good friends for many years. We had worked together to start that new church that was 7-8 years old. The prayer meeting had been a great time where 70-80 men worshiped and prayed for several hours. We sang praises of worship, sin had been confessed, men prayed for one another, it had been another good evening and now my friend and pastor made a purposeful walk up to me and out of the blue said “on a scale of 1-10 where do you think you are regarding going into ministry”. He caught me off guard, we had talked before about the ‘idea’ but never very seriously. “9-10” I said, surprising myself as the words came out. “Good” he said, and walked away.
That morning, as I sat in my truck, half thinking, half praying, I said “God, if you want me to leave Boeing and go into ministry, please confirm it to me in your word” and I opened my pocket bible to John 15, the next chapter in my reading. I loved reading the chapter again, I had read it many times before; that morning as I read:
“12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17 This is my command: Love each other.”
“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name”
I read that over and over and each time God seemed to brand in on my heart – a verse that resonated so closely with my life and at the same time called me to a future. I didn’t remember reading that verse before, I am sure I had, but that morning it was fresh and real. I am no longer one of many servants, but a friend and he was speaking directly into my heart.
“You did not choose me…” I wanted to follow Him in ministry but at the same time avoided Him, I had seen ministers who I had no desire to be like, not all certainly, like my own pastor who was a great example, but I had seen plenty of others and I didn’t want to be lumped in with them. Also, the thought of preaching scared the wits out of me, not so much the being in front of people, I had had plenty of experience that way, but to be the mouth piece of God was hugely intimidating. But all of my fears and conflicts burned away that morning, He chose me, and appointed me.
This was a great commissioning if I had ever heard it, but why hadn’t I heard it preached before? No matter, God was preaching it himself into my heart. “…go and bear fruit – fruit that will last.” I was so grateful that morning. I felt totally completed in that instant, yes this is what I was made for, a realization I would continue to live out, but ever bit as real in that moment.
It was time to go into the meeting, and I was amazed. It didn’t take long for God to speak into my heart and redirect the entire path of my life, only minutes, but God’s work is eternal, time is completely unnecessary for him to do His amazing work. There had not been a single flash in the sky, no smoke in or over my truck and yet I knew God had been with me.
I don’t remember what the meeting was about. I do remember having a conversation with an unbelieving co-worker sometime later as she shared some of her life struggle with her rebellious child and as we ended our conversation she said “have you ever considered going into ministry? I think you would be good at that.”
I just smiled and said “have a good evening, I will see you tomorrow”.
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